The New York Times Magazine recently asked columnist Kwame Anthony Apphia if Gay Parents are being selfish by choosing surrogacy over adoption. The answer… no more than any other parents who choose to have children without adopting. Gay surrogacy is no more open to ethical questions than straight surrogacy — or even other fertility or family planning options. The column interestingly points out that every child born is a lost opportunity for parents to choose to adopt a child instead.
So in essence, all natural parents are being somewhat selfish when choosing to conceive their own child rather than grow their family through adoption. Gay couples are no more susceptible to ethical arguments than other couples.
That said, the author does point out the fine line between ethical surrogacy services and commercialism of the family process. Yes, this is a tricky area. But while acquiring an egg and then working with a surrogate mother are transactions with ethical risks, they can each be conducted in morally permissible ways.
“The main concerns I would have are avoiding exploitation — so you need to make sure that the donor and the surrogate are acting freely and are fairly compensated — and taking care that your understanding with the surrogate mother is clearly laid out in advance. But any responsible agency that assists you in this should cover these bases,” said the author.