“We want to have twins but have been advised to use two surrogates because a twins pregnancy is so dangerous. What makes me doubtful about attempting two surrogates at the same time is that simultaneous success is not guaranteed, and then one birth may be delayed a few months from the other, wouldn’t it?”
Yes, you’re right. The babies born from two surrogates can arrive weeks (or even months) apart. When I had my surrogacy journey in India, we hired two surrogates. My husband’s surrogate became pregnant right away, while my surrogate needed a second embryo transfer to become pregnant. The babies were scheduled to be born 6 weeks apart. We left for Mumbai expecting that my husband and I would take turns staying in Mumbai over 2 to 3 months. (As it turned out, the second baby was born several weeks early — so the boys are only a week apart.)
Many people try to manage their surrogacy journey and arrange the timing to fit into their normal lives. My experience is that it almost never works out as you intend. Babies have a mind of their own, and they will arrive on their own schedule. The more plans you make, the more disrupted you’re going to find yourself. Be prepared to be accommodating (from now, and until they leave for college).
Of course you can try to have twins and bypass the entire problem. Although I advise against twin pregnancies because of the high likelihood of dangerous complications. About 65% of twins pregnancies will be born prematurely, which means much higher risks of physical and cognitive developmental problems as a baby (and later as a child). To avoid these serious complications, the ASRM recommends that embryo transfers use only one embryo. For more info, visit this blog post in the Surrogacy Guide.
To mitigate the possible inconvenience of two surrogates, I recommend flexibility. You can plan to become pregnant with your two surrogates, and hope for a simultaneous pregnancy. If the surrogates get pregnant on the same day, the two healthy deliveries should be no more than a week or two apart.
if your first two attempts do not both become pregnant at the same time, then you can delay the second attempt by some months. That way you have some time to process Baby #1’s paperwork and return home, get settled, and enjoy a moment of calm. Then you can come back to attend the birth of baby #2 before, repeating the process with some valuable experience. You may also just agree from the start that the babies will be 6 to 9 months apart, and hire your two surrogates on that schedule.
Either way, there are ways that you can still have your two babies and not suffer too much.
I hope this is helpful,
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